I can’t even put in into words how excited I am to participate in this challenge, at least not eloquently, but I am in it 100%! Feeling a little bit of vulnerability when it comes to posting my measurements but this is about myself and my own journey to achieve what I want and to hold myself accountable while doing so. 

Here it goes!

Starting stats

Weight: 121.4 lbs

Height:  5’4”

Measurements

Neck 12. 5”

Arm (left) 10”

Chest 31.5”

Waist 27.1”

Hips 36.5”

Thigh (left) 20.5”

Calf (left) 13.8”

Goals

I will eat 5 small and clean planned meals a day

 I will work-out minimum 5 days a week; stretching, cardio, abs, and weights. 

 I will be honest with myself

I will balance classes, homework, social events, relationships, and fitness no matter what.

I will plan two cheat meals a week and I will not regret a single bite.

I will like love the body I see in the mirror from any angle.

Today marks the beginning of the Chinese New Year and I thought I would take the chance to remind myself of some goals before I mindlessly abandon them in pursuit of bad tv and an abundance of cereal.

1. Stay organized, be neat. -I have been doing so good with this; making my bed the moment I have two feet on the floor, rinsing out my oatmeal bowl before it becomes one with the bowl, keeping well organized notebooks, folding and hanging my laundry as soon as the dryer completes its cycle.
2. Socialize. - I never thought this would be a goal I would have to write down, much less aspire to achieve. However, since I transferred to a large university after earning my Associates Degree  I have had a hard time adapting and making friends. My schedule has been very hectic til now and I merely went to class, went to the library, and went to the gym all while counting down the hours until my Friday afternoon came and I could drive two hours home to spend the weekend with my boyfriend and my girlfriends. He will be deploying to Afghanistan soon and now is the time to reach out and make connections here instead of wasting hours in the car and money on gas. If not, I fear I will be miserable with nerves. To make good on this goal I have decided to become an active member in organizing class projects, participate in a fitness class, attend meetings of the various honors organizations I belong to, and put myself out there in general.
3. Fit, fit, fit. - Fitness and health has always been an important part of my life but admittedly, I become content with my natural thin frame and begin to make excuses to skip the gym or skip the weights. Twenty-three days into the new year and I have done well with logging significantly more hours in the gym in contrast to the past few months. I keep a detailed food diary, weigh my portions as well as myself daily. I have begun to push myself harder but still I find an excuse not to stick to my workout plans. Poor excuses; “It’s too cold”, “people will judge me if I slow down”,  “I forgot my Ipod”, “my headphones won’t stay put”, “I might see my ex-boyfriend”,..you name it!  I have grown tired of those excuses and I am determined to meet my full potential
4. Punctuality and Courtesy.- My mom would scold me if she found out that I  mailed a thank you note in regards to Christmas to my Grandma today. I need to make every effort to be the best version of myself and these non-malicious acts of procrastination have consequences that adversely affect others as well as myself.

I don’t want to sound like a broken record and just graze through life. I want to achieve my goals actively, driven by passion and the desire to have a rich and happy life.

Every now and then I receive some messages asking me about what it’s like to have a relationship with a soldier and deal with the stress and unknown, juggle school, friendships, work, family, and life in general. Typically I don’t address these questions in a public way because I don’t want to shift the focus of my blog to such private matters or draw attention to any details that could compromise his or any serviceman’s security in any way. However, I do want to address some concerns and thoughts because they not only help me cope with my own emotions but may also provide insight to other people who are new to this life.

Though I grew up in a military family and was raised near the biggest military base in the States, I would consider myself a newbie in this type of life. I never expected to fall in love with a soldier. My dad, a retired veteran, is the greatest man I’ve ever known but I have seen first hand how hard this life can be on the family and the couple’s individual relationship.  I dreamed of getting my degree in English, moving to a big city to write, to travel home on occasion and have the luxury to travel the world; many of those things are not tangible when you are married to a soldier. I met Alex the night before I moved to my college town and I was celebrating with girlfriends; I could taste a new life unfolding and then it happened,  I can’t describe how fast and hard I fell for him. It was an honest and endearing encounter that had set my heart on fire. Talk about a monkey wrench to some plans!! When our relationship began, which revolved around spending the weekends together, I felt insecure about what kind of choices I would have to make to uphold this relationship; he could deploy or PCS at any time and I could potentially face a heartbreak or a life altering choice.

I have been very blessed to have found such a wonderful man who has encouraged my pursuit of higher education and and is genuinely invested and interested in my life. Many of my friends from high school married a soldier right after graduation, quickly had a baby and soon after a failed marriage. That thought terrified me. I used to find this fast-track train of of thought so perplexing, we are young and have so much time to be mothers and wives, but as Alex’s deployment date is around the corner I have experienced some panic about him being in a dangerous place, since then I am able to empathize with how many of my peers have felt and reacted. There is an overwhelming sense to hold on to that person in any way possible and for many people a baby and a marriage is what manifests from that whirlwind of emotions. I can clearly understand that now. Do I advocate that route? No, at least not immediately. Just as any relationship needs time to grow, couples who are sharing in this unpredictable military life together have so many more dilemmas to face than a civilian couple and need to learn about each other fluently before committing to moving across the country or the world with someone they barely know.

Alex is deploying soon and I become a college graduate in May. Though I am not thrilled about the thought of him going somewhere so dangerous, I realize that this also grants me the time to keep pursuing my own dreams. I have removed the rigid binding from my goals and am learning to experience things as the opportunities present themselves to me organically. Traveling to Europe, particularly Germany to enhance my speaking and comprehension in the language, has been a goal that will come to fruition soon and I am grateful that I not only have a wonderful man that is supportive of my plans but also that I am not having to raise a child, which many have to do alone in these situations, or working a job I hate because I chose not to study what I love for a man. The dynamic and circumstances of a relationship are unique in every couple and I can’t give some blanket statement of how to deal with such an odd life. The best advice I can give to those women who have found themselves in this life is to not give up on your own dreams for the sake of love alone. Love isn’t enough to make you happy when you are faced with overwhelming and unexpected responsibilities and burdens and don’t recognize yourself in a relationship.

I know I have found the person who not only loves me unconditionally but also shares my long term goals. I realize that many of the things I once dreamed of, I no longer want. Though not as glamorous, my goals are still wonderful, feasible, and most importantly are filled with love.